Somewhere out there...

Mike heard back today about the latest sibling group we had identified and they are not a match.  Well, they might have been a match but the kids need to stay in the general area where they now live so they can continue to see the same doctors, etc.

Keep praying for us and our kids. Our kids are out there. Somewhere.

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

We're seeing progress...

Keep praying for us and the kids.

The first thing to tell you is that the two boys we initially identified and requested information on are not a match.  This means that we are not suitable adoptive parents for them.

Yes, this is a blow.  It's a bit more difficult than we thought it might be despite having intentionally NOT dwelt on them alone.  We had purposefully not used their names in conversations, etc. and had not shared their information with anyone but very close family.  Despite our best intentions, Mike, at least, had really hoped they might be the ones.

Oh well, God knows what He's doing.  Right?

Moving on.

We had found another set of boys in late September.  They turned out to also not be a match.  We are currently waiting to hear about another sibling set and whether they might be a match.

All of this involves only the cases we have started.  Our county social worker is on the case and has sent our homestudy out to several different case workers.  We do not, and will not, know how many different possible matches we have been submitted for.  There is only one that will matter: the one that is our kids.

As the reality of this all sets in, we must confess that it is a bit daunting.  Mike is worried about money and Kerri is worried about everything else.

But the true reality of this all is that God has put in us this strong desire to find and adopt a sibling group.  And as worried about money as Mike is, he is not worried for the big picture because he knows that if he tries to solve the problems in a worldly way it will only cause a lot more stress and angst.

We more than trust God in this.  We KNOW God in this.  There are people who say they trust the Lord and it's more talk than walk.  We have NO DOUBT of where we are and what God is about to do for us and despite what the world says, the outlook seems and the plans we make, we know that God will be faithful to meet our every need.

Please pray for the two of us and our family that is soon to come.  Pray that when Satan tries to attack our spirit, faith and resolve that we are reminded that the fingerprints of God are all over this. 

And us.

They Like Us! They Really Like Us!

Well, I just went back and checked.

This journey began in earnest somewhere around January 7 of this year when we contacted DHR for more information.  Our last GPS class was April 26, our homestudy was completed May 25 and sent to DHR around June 10.

Today Mike received a phone call telling him we had been approved as adoptive parents.

Mike kept saying he thought it would be the end of August and, sure enough, it was pretty close.

The first question he was asked was if there were specific children we would like to know more about.  He sent that information to the case worker and the process has begun.  Since we do not know anything indepth about the kids we identified, we do not know if we will even be a match.  If not, we know God has better plans for us than we have for ourselves.

Thank you for all your prayers that have gotten us to this point.  This has been the single most important and life-changing event of our marriage.

Please continue to pray for God's guidance as we move forward.  Specifically, we need to know we are making the right decsion at the right time and that we are not reacting to our desire to get the kids "right now." 

We love you all.

Still Waiting...

Well, here we sit and wait.  All of our paperwork is completely finished, reviewed and has been sent to DHR for their final approval.  At this point we are waiting for DHR to say "Yes, this couple meets all our criteria and, yes, they have our approval to be adoptive parents."

The next step in the process, after DHR gives that final approval, is our new DHR case worker will begin to try and match us with kids needing to be adopted.  We HOPE that since we have already identified two boys we would like to know more about that this next step will go quickly.  In the event that the boys we have identified ARE a match, things could go very quickly.

HOWEVER, there are a LOT of issues that could make us not be a match for them and all we would be told is that "You're not a match."  At that point, the search begins anew and we wait until God brings our children home.

Please continue to pray for us and our kids.  We look forward every day to bringing them home and getting to know them.  A friend told me yesterday that even with the adoption process you have nine months of waiting.  True.

HURRAY!

All our stuff is in to DHR!!!  Our homestudy had been sent to DHR a while ago, but our fingerprints were still in a holding pattern.  Mike called the man who took our fingerprints at DHR and asked him to look into it.  Hurray for Mr. Bobby Allen who tracked down our fingerprints and got them approved and through!  God really answers prayer!!!

We are now waiting for approval from DHR to adopt, and then they will start matching us with boys.  We hope this will occur by August - it'd be great if it happened sooner!!!

Our church is in the process of starting an orphan care ministry which includes a branch for adoption - home and abroad.  People are hearing God's call to take care of the parentless - those who cannot help themselves.  This is an exciting time to answer God's call!!!

Friends of ours just adopted a baby girl from China - her name is Lily, and she is precious!!  We have a link on here to their blog, "Relieve the Problem," check it out.

Homestudy Update

We got an email from our social worker that our homestudy had cleared APAC and they were ready to send it to DHR for final approval.  The only thing lacking was our criminal background (fingerprint) reports.  Mike has been told his are approved but he has not received a letter from DHR to that effect.  Kerri's are apparently still in limbo somewhere at DHR.

Please pray that this will clear up soon and not delay the final approval.

Homestudy and Fingerprints

We just got an email from our Katey Rusell, our social worker: she has finished preparing our homestudy and will be sending it to APAC today!

I also just called the fingerprint clearing house and we (well, Mike at least) have been judged "suitable" as adoptive parents.

YEAH!!!

Here's what happens next: 

The homestudy goes to APAC for review before sending it to DHR for our final approval as adoptive parents.  This step helps ensure that by the time it gets to DHR nothing has been overlooked and nothing is missing.  There is a slight chance it could still come back for further work but this quality control step helps to reduce the odds that it will.  This process can take about three weeks.

Next, the homestudy goes to DHR for final approval.  Assuming everything checks-out, we will be approved as adoptive parents.  This step can take quite a long time and we anticipate this occurring no sooner than the end of August.

Once we have been approved, we can request information on specific sibling pairs we would like to be considered for.

Keep us in your prayer - we covet them.  There is a LOT of waiting at this point and neither Kerri nor I are good at that.  Especially in THIS, we are both more of a microwave than a  crockpot.

Subscribe!

One more thing - you can now subscribe to this blog to get an email with any changes that we post.  That way you do not have to come to this site only to see we have not added anything new.

To subscribe, just enter your email in the first box in the column on the left.  You will receive an email verifying you wish to subscribe and thereafter you will only get an email if the blog changes.

Ain't technology great (for the lazy)!

:o)

Fingerprints (for real...)

Last week Mike contacted DHR to see if there was anything that could be done to track the status of his and Kerri's fingerprints check.  He and Kerri submitted their fingerprints electronically on March 18 and had heard nothing since then.

When he called Tuesday they said Kerri's report had already been processed and returned to Alabama but Mike's prints had been placed "on hold" due to an error.  Apparently, had he not called, they would have remained on hold until someone DID call.  The person he spoke with explained the error (simple but too lengthy to go into here), cleared it and submitted the fingerprints for processing.  She told him to call back last Friday, May 7.

Today, he called back and YIPPEE they have been processed and returned to Alabama for approval.

At this point, the Alabama DHR will review the reports that came back with the prints and we will either pass or fail.  When that process is complete we have been told we will receive a letter from DHR telling us the outcome.  Of course we do not expect any problems.  Although, there was that one time...

This is an important development because it is in this step that many people encounter delays.  One horror story we heard said it took more than a year for one person's prints to be approved and in SEVERAL other cases they have been lost in the system but nobody knew until they had waited for an inordinate amount of time (like, it would appear, what Mike was about to experience).

Praise God!

One more little step on our long and patience-learning journey toward parenthood.

Keep praying!

2nd Home Visit

Hi!  We just had our second (and last) home visit.  Things went great!  Katey liked the bunk beds we got for our boys.  She told us that she'd take about 2-3 weeks to get our write-up to APAC.  Someone at APAC will read our stuff and send it on to the state.  That could take a week - it could take 4 - it all depends on how many studies are in before ours.  After APAC sends the study on, it goes to State DHR - then, who knows how long it could take before it gets approved ~ we're still waiting on our fingerprints ~ and then we wait for a phone call.

It is a lot of waiting now.  Waiting and praying.

But it's all in God's time.  We trust Him, so we're not worried.  Mike and I have a real peace about all of this.  We know that God has planned for us to have those kids from before we were born - let alone before they were born - so we're just letting His plan unfold.

Thank you for praying for us in this!  Pray for our kids!!

How Long 'til You Get the Kids?

This is our most frequently asked question..."How long?  When will you get the kids?"

We really don't know when.  We have our second Home Visit May 3rd.  Then, we wait.  Our Social Worker will write up "us" and then submit it to APAC - the organization through which we took GPS.  Next, after APAC makes sure all our paperwork is in order (like the fingerprint report we're still waiting on), APAC will send it on to Alabama DHR.  Then, DHR will read it, send it to one of several adoption consultants who will read it and look for a match between us and children who are waiting to be adopted.

It could take a while.

After we are matched, we'lll be called and given some information about the kids.  We can ask for more info about them and start the process of maybe getting to meet them, or we can say no.  Saying no will not diminish our chances of adopting.  We'll then wait for another call about children waiting to be adopted.

We'll keep you posted!!!

We're Certifiable, um, er, Certified!!

Hallelujah! 

Our ten-week GPS class concluded last night!!  As we have told several people, now the waiting begins.  Followed by more waiting.  And then some more, well, you get the picture.

We have filled-out all kinds of paperwork and done all kinds of thought-provoking exercises.  We're glad to have done every bit of it since it has really had a positive effect on our outlook and pre-conceived notions.

The second home visit of our home-study is this coming Monday night.  Katey, our social worker, will be meeting with us individually to talk about what we've learned and what we expect.  She will also take a tour of the house to get a feel for the layout and to look for any issues we need to address.

For example, we had to find a way to lock-away Mike's guns so they could not be messed with by the kiddos.  We also had to make sure we had the correct fire extinguisher(s) and they were in the appropriate locations(s). 

Mike also tested the fire alarm.  THAT was fun considering (1) there was no test button because (2) it is part of the home security system that (3) is monitored and will send the fire department if it goes off.

Never fear, he called the monitoring company to let them know he was about to set it off.  He then lit a paper towel on fire, blew it out to smoke it up and held it under the ceiling-mounted sensor.  It worked.  Oh boy, did it work.  He put out so much smoke it went off twice, and the smoke (and smell) lingered for quite awhile.

Ah, good times!

Hopefully we have taken everything into consideration that we need to prior to Monday but we'll find out for sure then.

We know the most diificult part is ahead of us, waiting, and neither of us is a patient person.  Right now we're wondering how long it will take for our fingerprint check to be completed.  We have heard horror stories about it taking months to be done and we can not adopt until they are.

Keep praying for us.  We covet all your support, love and prayers.

A Mea Culpa

We have not been as active in blogging as we wanted to.

Although we wanted to blog at least weekly, you will note there are some gaps in the entries where we don't have anything to say. Well, I'm here to tell you, there just ain't enough time in the day!

Kerri has just finished the soccer season and, as I write this, is in Washington D.C. with the eighth-grade class from school on a three day, five night trip. (I am accepting offers for people to provide me dinner during this time of separation!) She is also involved in the Montgomery Chorale and they are doing a series of concerts over the next month or so.

As an example, here is her schedule for just this past weekend (April 16 thru April April 18):

Friday
Host Soccer Tournament at middle school 5:00 pm to 9:00 pm

Saturday
More Soccer Tournament (10 hours)

Sunday
Teach Sunday School
Chorale Concert at 3:00 (west side of town)
Chorale Concert at 6:00 (east side of town)

We actually do have two posts we have not finished that will appear when we have the time. Make sure you look over the entire blog each time you visit since they will appear in the list under the date we started them.

We love you all and are grateful for family and friends that care about this process and care to know how it is progressing.

Thanks!

Panel Night

Well, this Monday night was week 9 of 10 in our GPS class. We are both glad to see this process coming to a close and look forward to being able to stay home on Monday nights.

This week was Panel Night where people from various aspects of the adoption process sat at a head table and took questions. Participants in the class were encouraged to bring with them family members and relatives who might be impacted by an adoption so they could participate as well.

The panel consisted of:
- An 18-yr-old adopted daughter of one of our class leaders.
- 2 representatives of APAC, the organization sponsoring the GPS class.
- A couple who already had one child who adopted one who was later diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (and had a ROUGH time).
- A couple who had three children of their own who have adopted, so far, six more.
- Two lawyers that specialize in adoptions (they will be ours when the time comes).

It was good to hear some of the stories of what happens when your children come home after an adoption, some of the problems and some of the victories. Honestly it was about what I had expected but there was some things we talked about that I had not thought about.

The end result of the night, for Mike, was a real peace about what we're doing and a confirmation that this is what we want to do. There is so much that can go wrong. There is so much that is going to change. And right now, as you read this you're shaking your head saying "You don't know the half of it!"

You're right. But neither did you before you had kids. One of the panelists said something that has really stuck with me. She said there is no difference between adopting a child and bringing one home from the hospital - unless you make it different. They need the same love, attention and care. The same security and consistency. They need the same family and home that you have, and had.

When we talk to each other about why we are doing this, it really makes the desire even stronger that we want to do it not only to have a family, but to be able to provide a home for someone who needs it.

We have been blessed immeasurably by God and when we bought our home, we made a commitment to look for ways to honor God with what He had provided. Through they years we have hosted missionaries, groups of missionaries and a our Thai "son", Beaver. We have never felt put out. We have never regretted a single moment.

We know things will be different. We know things will be tough. We know there will be times we look at each other and say "Why did we do this?" But the bottom line is, again, it's no different than it would be if we'd had our own.

We already love our kids. We can't wait for them to come home.

Home Study and Timetable

Greetings!

We just had our first home study! We feel really good about it - our worker is a wonderful woman who is going to check out our blog, so I can't gush too much - she'll think we're kissing up! Thanks, Katey!

She asked us questions about our already turned-in paperwork to clarify some things and to get to know us better. We will have another visit in the beginning of May.

Catching up...

Well, it's been two weeks since we last updated our progress and a lot has happened.

The weekly classes are going well but this week's felt long and difficult. It was a good topic ("Gains and Losses - Preparing a Child for the move from Foster Care") but there was so much information we had to cover that it was "Go, Go, Go, Go, Go" and two hours in I was ready for it to be over.

We (I) have started watching a new television show called "Parenthood" and let me tell you: If you ever thought about having kids, you need to watch this show. If it doesn't scare you off then maybe you will make it after all. It's a great show (minor language issues and adult situations) and, as Kerri said, it's really nice to see them present a family that is strong together, committed to their marriage and family but also has to deal with difficult issues. Check it out.

Tonight is our first visit from our social worker, Katey, to start our homestudy. We have two of these visits. The first will be with both of us, together. The second (as yet unscheduled) will be talking to us individually. I guess they want to make sure Kerri hasn't coerced me into adopting.

We are both so excited about this whole process. We have started talking about things in terms of "once the kids are here..." and it adds a new dimension to it all.

After three weeks of back and forth with Rooms To Go, the kids bunk beds are finally completely here and installed. We are not going to buy any bed linens until the boys come so they can pick out their own. We hope it will give them a sense of ownership and a sense of home and permanency.

Keep praying for us and the boys - we (and they) need all we can get. Also, please pray for the foster family where they currently live. One thing we have learned through all this is how strong the attachments the foster family has to them can be and how difficult it can be for them to let go.

Home Study

I forgot to mention something important - last night we were assigned our case social worker. This is the person who will conduct our home studies, make recommendations and be our advocate in this process.

Our first visit is April 8.

Very exciting!

Crime & Punishment

Well it had to happen: Tonight we got "the talk" about what was appropriate in the area of disciplining children. The lesson looked at two basic areas: physical punishment and opportunity punishment.

We started the class with a discussion on what discipline was. Now, while most of us would think of spanking, that's not discipline. That's punishment. So what's discipline?

Well, according to the French, discipline is "to give a gift" and if you think about it, that really IS what it is. When we discipline our children, we give them the tools to help them achieve health, happiness and success. We set boundaries that, when crossed, have consequences. They know those boundaries. They know those consequences. And when they test them both they (hopefully) find that their parents are true to their word, are persons they can trust (very important) and can actually find safety, comfort and self-worth. I know that may sound like a non-sequitur but I guess you had to be there for the rest of the lesson.

What about punishment?

I like to tell people I was "brought up by hand," a reference to Pip in Great Expectations. Although Pip said it to mean he was beaten by his sister, I mean it to say that my brother and I were spanked when we got out-of-line. We were also "switched" and, at times, were sent to cut our own instrument of correction. One time I brought back a rotten tree branch. My dad laughed so hard I got out of the spanking.

What I learned tonight is that while physical punishment makes the parents feel better about their frustration, it rarely has the same effect on the kids unless handled VERY carefully.

I remember clearly that my dad never spanked us right when we earned it. And, more importantly, he never spanked us more than three strikes. And before he started, he had a conversation with us wherein we talked about why the pending events were about to occur.

That's the kind if spanking I agree with.

However, when you adopt kids, they have not had the opportunity to be raised in a home where everything was so clearly delineated. Most kids adopted through DHR out of foster care have been abused or, at the very least, neglected. They have issues that kids raised in a stable, loving, caring environment never develop.

Having said that, it became clear to me that spanking may not be the way to go.

We went over 15 different non-physical methods (opportunity punishments) that can help direct a child to a desired behavior. Sounds kinda technical and clinical, huh? At the end of the class I really felt like there were good alternatives to spanking that I had never been exposed to. And, yes, "timeout" is one of them.

This is a big deal for me. For us. Discipline and Punishment are major issues in raising kids. Issues that divide families and friends. Issues that are rooted in faith ("Spare the Rod...") and culture (Dr. Spock). I wish all parents could take this class. It really has been an eye-opener.

Please continue to pray for us and our journey.


(This is Kerri now) One of the other participants in the class mentioned that spanking makes the parents feel better and helps them get out anger. I popped my hand up and said that wasn't necessarily the case. I said that my parents never spanked us in anger - they always waited to spank us so that they would be calm. They explained to us (me and my sister) why they were spanking us - and it was never more than 3 times, I think. It was infrequent - and it was done in a corrective and loving way. The leaders were really impressed and said that I grew up in a home with a lot of love. So Mom and Dad, thanks.

A Gain and A Loss

We were SO excited about today! The bunk beds were coming!!! Along with the two dressers! They did come, but they came with some scratches and a broken staircase...sad times. So, we refused a few pieces (very helpful deliveryman) and have put in a call to Rooms To Go to get replacement parts/sections. The boys' room is cleared out, vacuumed, curtains cleaned and ready to go - with some pieces of furniture sitting there, waiting for the rest of the parts to be put together.

We're waiting for our boys to finish decorating the room. They'll get to choose their sheets and other things about the room so that they can feel like it's theirs. We've heard that some children coming from foster care may bring up to a UHaul full of stuff with them when they go from place to place. We'll find the room!

Fingerprints

I know it's probably not a big deal to SOME in my family but we had our fingerprints taken today. It was really kinda cool.

In addition to our annual physicals which we had done today as well, we have reached the end of the paperwork trail. From here on we wait to be assigned a Social Worker to handle our case and move forward.

Our class has dwindled to 13 people - 6 couples and 1 single lady. We wonder about the thought process to begin this class and decide it's not for you. I pray that they feel good about their decisions.

Guided Imagery

Well, tonight's class was a good one. The primary focus this week was for us to gain empathy for the kids by doing an exercise where we would view things from point-of-view of the kids we will adopt.

We sat there with our eyes closed and for fifteen minutes or so the facilitator had us visualize the images she was describing and think about how it impacted us personally.

She started by saying that the family police were coming and taking us from our family. We had 30 minutes to say goodbye and pack one small suitcase. That our new "family" was waiting for us and was so excited that we were coming.

From there, we were taken to our new "home" in a nicer neighborhood with nicer homes and bigger yards. We went to the front door and rang the bell. And waited. The door opened and there they were, our new family, complete kids and the dog.

This goes on for, as I said, 15 minutes or so.

Oh, and she forgot to tell us that we could have no contact with our "former" family.

Imagine if you went through this? I don't have the time or memory to tell you all of the situations she described but at the end she asked us to write down in only one or two words what we thought and then she went around the room and asked us to read our note. Mine said "This Sucks!!" But I also told her that for the first time I got a very clear understanding of what the kids will go through as they move through the system.

I never knew this was going to be so much work. At least it will be easy going AFTER we get the kids, right? RIGHT?? :o)

We know it won't be so no snarky comments. Just keep praying for us.

Gains & Losses

It's interesting what you lose and gain at every major step in life.

Think about it. What do you lose when you're born? When you learn to crawl? Walk? Talk? Ride a bike? It's easy to think about what you gain (life, freedom, greater mobility, explicitly expressing your feelings, independence) but what about what you lose?

How about a quiet, warm comfortable environment where every need is met continuously. Someone to carry you everywhere you go. The same but to a greater degree. The simplicity of communication through smiles, gurgles and coos. The innocence that comes with a lack of responsibility.

The exercise we went through was to show us that each major step in life has a gain or loss associated with it and kids (and adults) can choose to focus on either the gain or loss. Some are easy to see and others are not but to try and see both sides helps you determine the benefit of what just happened. Or gives you the drive to do something about it.

It sounds weird to do an exercise like this but it really was an eye-opener.

My Life Story

Well, we just finished what was, for me, probably the hardest part so far in our journey. We spent about two hours yesterday (Saturday) and another 4+ hours today sitting and writing our autobiographies. When we were done, mine was a five and a half page, Times New Roman 12-point essay. I haven't worked or thought that hard since college. In the end, I think Kerri and I were a bit burned out.

I must confess that the process made me go back through some thoughts and issues I haven't dealt with in years. Most of them were issues I could have gone the rest of my life and not lost anything by continuing to ignore them.

Many of the questions they ask to guide you through the writing process are simple enough but when you start to explain, you realize you can't really explain that until you explain this. And you can't just start by explaining this until you give some background on why it was that way. And you can't just start off by giving some background on why it was that way until you talk about some other important piece of information. Get the idea? You keep scratching away until you get to a point where you can really begin and then you've forgotten where you were going with the whole thing!!

And then you have to weigh your impressions as a child against them as an adult and you find yourself wondering if you should even mention something because, as an adult, you think differently. You KNOW differently. You act differently.

The more you write, the more you have to write. The more you have to write, the more you feel you have to explain.

By the time it was all over I don't think I had anything left TO write. I certainly didn't WANT to write anything else.

When we finished, feeling rather proud of our accomplishment, I announced to Kerri that we had just finished the last "large" project for the class. She quickly reminded me about the floor plans, the pictures, the scrapbook and the letter to the kids we have to write.

Oh well, there's no end to the paperwork or our commitment to the plans God has for us. I know He will provide the strength and fortitude just as I know He has already called our kids by name. He has counted every hair on their head and knows the color of their eyes. He knows how many freckles each of them has. In all of this knowledge there is great comfort, peace and excitement that carries us through this process.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

Kerri's First Message

Greetings! Mike's been doing a great job, but I thought I should weigh in on what's going on. We are so excited! I love the furniture and we're planning on clearing out the room for the new bunk beds over my Spring Break (Mike has taken off with me the last few years).

I bought some books this weekend - James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys and Dare to Discipline and a book called Wild Things. I'm halfway through Bringing Up Boys. It's great and helpful and overwhelming and making me scared and excited all at the same time! It's helping me think about how to teach my all boys class at school better - but also how to gear myself up for raising boys...and how so much of it will be up to Mike as the father. I got to get a new soccer ball for us at home and a ball glove for Mike and a football...

My biggest fear is that these kids won't want to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I know that we will take them to church, model a Christian life and pray for them (we already are). That's all we can do~God's got a plan, and we're just following it. God is good!

We just spent about 6 hours total crafting our autobiographies. It really made me think about my life growing up. I was so blessed! Some might say I had a charmed life...parents who stayed together and loved us - they are committed Christians who lived their convictions. We have such a loving family - and we both plan to give our kiddos that - lots of love.

No one has commented yet...sad times.

Thanks for reading and for praying for us! Please also pray for our kids!

Furniture and a Fingerprint

Well, today we bought bunk beds for the boys. Now wait, I know you are thinking this is a bit premature but let me explain.

We were going to buy beds. Then we were going to wait. Then we didn't know what we were going to do. Then we talked about it. The way we see it is that if we get two boys that want to sleep together, we're ready. If we get two boys that don't want to sleep together, we're ready. If we get a brother and sister (that really SHOULDN'T sleep together), we're ready. get it?!?!

Click here for a picture that's pretty close to what we got. We think we did all right.

There's another reason we bit the bullet: God spoke.

As we have been saying throughout this process, we have seen the fingerprints and felt the presence of God with every decision we have had to make. That in itself is an answer to prayer. We have specifiaclly asked for his guidance in all that we do. Well, we had talked over the weekend last weekend (Feb 27) and had decided it probably made sense to go ahead and get the beds so that when we have our home study done, we actually had the room set up and the social worker could see our plans rather than just hear about them.

So, when I checked the mail last Monday, there was a flyer from Rooms To Go that was talking about their 19th anniversary with a sale this weekend. It had a coupon where we saved $250 on this bed set. To me, that's a fingerprint.

Please continue to pray for us and the boys. We need all we can get.

What is GPS?

By the way, it just occurred to me that you probably think that GPS stands for Global Positioning System and are wondering what that has to do with adoption. Well, just to clear things up, in THIS context it stands for Group Preparation and Selection and it aptly describes the purpose of this ten-week class: as a group, we prepare for the adoption and refine the criteria upon which we want to base the selection of our children.

Week 2: Memory and Shakespeare

Well, last night was our second of ten meetings in the GPS class. These meetings start at 6:00 pm and go until 9:00 pm. The participants sign up to bring food each week so at least there is something to eat, although it's usually not the healthiest. Oh well.

We start each class with a warm-up; a get-to-know-you exercise. It really helps to break the ice and get everyone working together. Last night we did a memory train. Fortunately we were near the beginning.

Each person chose an adjective with which to preface their name. For instance, the facilitator, Ann, chose Animated and so she said her name was Animated Ann. The next person in the line had to do the same but repeat the names of all the people that came before her on the train. So we ended up with:

Animated Ann (facilitator)
Kind Katy (social worker)
Weird Wanda (she picked it herself!) (social worker)
Active April
Jovial Josh
Kooky Kerri (yeah, I know...)
Magnificent Mike (what else...?!?!)
Adventurous Alena
Jumpin' Josh
Brilliant Bridgette
Restless Ray
Jokin' Jana
Quirky Queen
Sophisticated Sundeena (social worker)
Jack-of-All-Trades Judy (social worker)
Mellow Marcy
Colorful Chris
Stupendous Stacy
Lovely Lyndie
Multi-Tasking Mariah (I needed help to remember this one)
Malcontent Michael and
Memory Queen Maggie (facilitator)

Wow, I guess it worked pretty well considering I just did that from memory! As you can see, we were lucky we sat near the front of the room!!

The lesson last night was centered around role playing so we could get a feel for some of the issues involved when a child is placed into protective custody by DHR, the process that might eventually lead to that child being permanently removed from their birth-parents and placed for adoption by people like us! It really was eye-opening to see how a healthy, stable family could go from from a normal life to losing one of two children to DHR in 48 hours. It really helped you realize that not all parents who have their children taken from them by DHR are bad people. Most are just like us.

They took volunteers from the attendees to role-play specific roles and, you guessed it, Kerri was one of the first to shoot up her hand at the opportunity to perform the best non-Shakespeare-Shakespeare she could, wrought with tragedy and strife. Her performance was convincing and, at times, over the top - but what do you expect??? At the end of it all the facilitator asked the group how they did and one guy said "Well, it wasn't Shakespeare, but it was pretty good!"

We turned in our 70+ pages of paperwork that included our family profile and references. Several social workers were there to get to know us since they will be some of the people who taking our cases.

For next week we have to write our autobiography. Uggghh. Although they provide a pretty clear outline of how to proceed, it is is definitely something I am not looking forward to.

Keep praying for us.

Paperwork and Prayer

Well, we have spent a good part of the day beginning to fill out the paperwork we have as part of the adoption process. When we are done today, we will have gone through almost 70 pages of questions from how we show the emotion happiness to what was the worst part of school.

I will say this process really does make you think through a lot of "things" that most people probably don't think about. DHR requires completion of this class for that very reason.

We have to write a letter to the child(ren) we want to adopt and introduce ourselves and give them a picture of us, our home and the kitties. I am excited about going through that thought process because Kerri and I ARE really excited and we want to be able to show that to the kids.

Please continue to pray for us. That God would continue to guide us through this process with a wide path and clear passage and that we are open to ideas we may not currently be open to.

I wondered aloud when this process began how we would convey to the kids the message they need to hear, that they are loved, when everything in me tells me it will take time to come to love them. Well, now I have my answer.

It really is a strange situation to be in but let me share this: we already love our children. To someone who is not a Christian, you may not understand, but we have been praying for the kids since before we started this process. As part of that praying for, we realize that God already knows who are children are. Where they are. What they like. What they don't. And through that we have made a connection with them, and while we do not know the answers to these questions, we have comfort in knowing that God does. He always has.

We pray for our kids everyday - we ask that you guys would do the same.

Getting Started!

Well, we have NO IDEA what we're doing, but we thought we'd give blogging a try.

We have just started an adventure to adopt a sibling pair somewhere around the age of ten, or so. This seemed to be the easiest way we could think of to communicate out progress to all our friends and family.