The Family Moore

The Family Moore

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Going Ahead

Our Adoption consultants at DHR (two wonderful women) met with many, many people at a "state staffing session" today about the two boys with whom we've been matched and afterwards came by the house to talk about how the session went.  The boys' workers have a good feeling about us, and after hearing about how the meeting went and what they learned, we have a good feeling about the boys.  We were told that there had been a lot of inquiries on the boys but that their case workers felt we were the best match for them.

Our next step is to meet the boys sometime in mid-July.  We would visit sooner but Kerri is going to Virginia the beginning of July to visit her folks.  Mike can't get away - sad times. :(

We are very excited!  We have been asked to create a family scrapbook about our home, our life and us so that the boys' foster parents can show them about us and talk to them about us - to give them permission to get excited about us and the idea of a forever family.  They are both very happy where they are so we expect it will be a tough transition for them.

The Lord has been helping us so much to get ready for this and He has brought us some great DHR and APAC resources so that we can make a great transition together.

Obviously, we have not made any final decisions yet.  We need to meet the boys and they need to meet us and we all need to agree we want to become a family.  We want to invite them to become part of our family because we really feel they need to have a say in the decision.  We want them to take ownership of the decision and not feel like we are just the next stop for them.

Thank you for your prayers!  We need them and covet them.  Please pray for these two boys as well.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Here we go again...

This morning we met with DHR about the second set of boys. During the two-hour meeting we asked a lot of questions to sort of refine our understanding of issues and our social worker asked us how we felt concerning specific items about which we had been informed.

When we left the meeting, we both felt much better about the possibility. The are having a meeting next week at which time the official state panel will review our qualifications and the boys needs for a definitive match. Assuming we are a match, they will, at some point after that, ask us if we want to proceed.

We feel really good about waiting until mid-July to begin visits. That is probably a large part of our good humor - knowing that we have time to talk and discuss our feelings together. We are putting the brakes on so that we do not feel pressured by either the DHR or our desire for a family.

These two boys are 9 and 11 and will be in 4th and 5th grade next year. They are precisely in the age range we first identified and would not be in the same school with Kerri for their first years. That's a bonus. Although, it will fall to Mike to get them to and from school!!

Thank you for your prayers. Right now we feel positive about where this is headed. We need to continue to lean on the everlasting arms for help, support and guidance.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Meeting...

We met yesterday afternoon with our social worker, Judy, and the boys case worker.  This was our opportunity to talk to them about the boys and their opportunity to ask us questions about the time we spent with them.  Call it an "Exit Interview."

It was pretty much as we expected.  We had a lot to tell them and, given our EXTENSIVE knowledge and history of fostering following YEARS of practice, we had some advice to offer. There were just some things that we thought were causing issues and things we had done that worked really well.  Even in just three days.

Well, as you know, before we had been contacted about the boys, we had looked at several children on Heart Gallery and had made a few requests for more information and preliminary matching.  Friday afternoon Kerri got a call regarding one of the inquiries we had made.

There are two boys we have been matched with and we were able to get more information about them during our meeting on Friday.  We will meet with the boys case worker on Tuesday to go over some more information.

We have told our social worker that, while we are willing to look at these two boys, we have decided to wait until mid-July before we might begin any visits with them.  Our recent experience has left us in somewhat of a daze and, while we have no regrets for the experience, it took an emotional toll from which we are still healing.

Keep us in your prayers.  The fact that we have been potentially matched AGAIN in so short a time is nothing but the hand of God.  We both feel He has been preparing us this spring for a change.  Perhaps the first set of boys was the eye-opener (it really was, actually) but we need and want to be sure that in our eagerness to have a family, we don't make the wrong decision.

Please continue your prayers for discernment and wisdom.  We need every one you can offer!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Discernment and Peace

We had the boys for all three days of this Memorial Day weekend.  We had them from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm on Saturday, 1:30 pm to 8:00 pm on Sunday and 5:30/9:30 am until 3:30 pm on Monday.  Since they were not placed together, on Monday we had to pick them up at different times.  And, yes, that 5:30 am time is not a typo.

These two boys are great kids, and have the potential to achieve whatever they want as long as they put their mind to it.  Having said that, while we may be a match for them, they, unfortunately, are not a match for us.  We quickly realized that they both needed more therapeutic support than we would be able to provide.  On Monday afternoon we notified DHR that we would not be able to continue as a resource for the boys.

Now, before you think how unfortunate this all is, please understand that we count it all joy.  When we began the visitation process with the boys, we specifically prayed for, and asked prayer for, discernment and peace with whatever decision we would make.  We laid it all at the feet of Jesus and asked for his guidance, strength and wisdom as we started what would be the biggest journey in our lives together.  Yes, we had hopes and dreams, but we also had faith that God would lead us to the right decision.

We had discernment given to us in that we realized that, as much as we want children, the children we were seeing were not for us.  And we realized this knowing full-well it could be a very long time before another possible match was made.  The world says take what you can, when you can, however you can but God tells us to wait on him, and we do.

We have a peace about our decision, and the whole situation, because we specifically asked for it.  There is so much we could wring our hands about, and worry if we made the right decision, and convince ourselves we could have done it.  But we have none of that.  We KNOW we have made the right decision and that knowing gives us peace.

We have a lot to be thankful for and to pray about.  We are thankful for the opportunity we had to meet the boys and spend time getting to know them.  They have much need, and we will pray for them every day for healing and, most importantly, that God would lead someone to them that can lead them back to Him. 

We also learned a lot about ourselves and what we want, what we're looking for.  Some ideas and desires were confirmed in a big way and some things made us re-define our positions.

We are looking forward to the next step, whatever, whenever and wherever it may take us.

Thank you for all your prayers and kind words.  Keep 'em coming!