We had the boys for all three days of this Memorial Day weekend. We had them from 9:00 am to 8:00 pm on Saturday, 1:30 pm to 8:00 pm on Sunday and 5:30/9:30 am until 3:30 pm on Monday. Since they were not placed together, on Monday we had to pick them up at different times. And, yes, that 5:30 am time is not a typo.
These two boys are great kids, and have the potential to achieve whatever they want as long as they put their mind to it. Having said that, while we may be a match for them, they, unfortunately, are not a match for us. We quickly realized that they both needed more therapeutic support than we would be able to provide. On Monday afternoon we notified DHR that we would not be able to continue as a resource for the boys.
Now, before you think how unfortunate this all is, please understand that we count it all joy. When we began the visitation process with the boys, we specifically prayed for, and asked prayer for, discernment and peace with whatever decision we would make. We laid it all at the feet of Jesus and asked for his guidance, strength and wisdom as we started what would be the biggest journey in our lives together. Yes, we had hopes and dreams, but we also had faith that God would lead us to the right decision.
We had discernment given to us in that we realized that, as much as we want children, the children we were seeing were not for us. And we realized this knowing full-well it could be a very long time before another possible match was made. The world says take what you can, when you can, however you can but God tells us to wait on him, and we do.
We have a peace about our decision, and the whole situation, because we specifically asked for it. There is so much we could wring our hands about, and worry if we made the right decision, and convince ourselves we could have done it. But we have none of that. We KNOW we have made the right decision and that knowing gives us peace.
We have a lot to be thankful for and to pray about. We are thankful for the opportunity we had to meet the boys and spend time getting to know them. They have much need, and we will pray for them every day for healing and, most importantly, that God would lead someone to them that can lead them back to Him.
We also learned a lot about ourselves and what we want, what we're looking for. Some ideas and desires were confirmed in a big way and some things made us re-define our positions.
We are looking forward to the next step, whatever, whenever and wherever it may take us.
Thank you for all your prayers and kind words. Keep 'em coming!